Five things you (probably) don't know about 'the self proclaimed guru'

01/03/2007 04:50 PM by Chris Toohey

Apprently, I'm it:

1. A big part of me can't stand being either recognized or acknowledged as "that Domino Guru guy". I feel like a pompous jerk everytime someone emails, IMs or calls and starts off "hey Mr. Guru" - I know it's not meant in any way other than a hello (and some of my good friends in this community often use it as a friendly salutation), but it's almost a constant reminder of that dark part of me that thinks that I can do no wrong, that I'm the best at what I do, and I'm the best at what I haven't even tried to do yet. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm better than a stick in the eye... but I've (sadly) met people that come across that way 110% of the time, and it's my biggest fear that I should ever act as such.

2. Despite going to school for Criminology ("What were we doing? Studying to be Batmen?!"), if I wasn't doing what I'm doing now... I'd want to be in the arts, either acting (theatre, not film) or pencil/inking. Any regret however is still chased away by an event that happened maybe a few years into my marriage. My wife and I, along with our 14 month old daughter (who's now "going on 8") went to the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire. I was pulled up on stage and we had to crowd in stitches with our improved antics. The other players were impressed enough to take me backstage, break characters, and chat. After a few minutes, I left to return to my wife and daughter, and could feel the old feeling that I'd get on stage creep up on me after years of it being dead. My wife said that I was beaming - she had never seen that side of me before, and we began talking about other things as we went to get a "bread bowl" (corn chowder I think it was...). We sat down, when another player, his wife, and their 14 month old-ish daughter sat down next to us engrossed in their own conversation. Without trying to listen on what was obviously a private conversation, we got the gist of it: the player was telling his wife that he didn't know what bills that they could pay this month, but that everything should be alright since he had an audition in New York City the next week.

   It was a pretty grounding glimpse, and while thinking of those days brings a smile to my face... I honestly never regretted not pursuing those careers.

3. I have a personal space issue. Well, it's more of an issue with people that don't understand the concept of "personal space". I once thought it was a good idea to invite our neighbors (the husband, wife, and two kids) along with us to the mall. We got stuck with the kids while they shopped... which we didn't mind really - and we spent most of the time at the mall's indoor jungle gym. Before we met up with the shopping parents, we stopped by a Ben & Jerry's stand and got the kids (and us) ice-cream. I got myself a Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz milkshake and we all made our way through the mall to meet up with our neighbors. When we met, I had just finished my milkshake and threw away the cup. Now, the thing about Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz... it contains a HUGE amount of ground espresso beans. So I, in what I thought was an aside, asked my wife if I had any of the ground beans in my teeth. Before she could comment, my neighbor (the wife) jumps between us and uses her index finger nail saying "You've got one right there" and... proceeds to put her finger in my mouth. <shudder> I was both revolted and stunned! Since then, I don't let people (aside from my wife and kids obviously) within punching distance.

4. I won't say who was involved... but I once had to code the markup (HTML) for a bogus review that my employer wrote, and then paid someone to put their name on said review.

5. And something that I would suggest to anyone who has a blog and who also has to write code for a living: my blog template's editor is a simple text editor. If I want HTML, I have to code it all myself. The good thing about this: I can control the content of my entries without the help of the HTTP Task/Domino auto-generated nightmare.

There you have it! Now, I'll nominate Sean, Chris Miller, Jess, Matt (I know that's probably cheating... but my fingers and brain hurt from the typing...), and Derik!